My Dark Vanessa- Ambitious or exploitative?

5 stars

I have sat on my thoughts on this book for awhile since finishing. I always end up thinking about this story. It is a new favorite, because of the way that this "relationship" was portrayed between Strane and Vanessa. How the lines between her repulsion and her "love" at 15 years old is so well done. Vanessa's present self still does not exactly romanticize the sexual and mental abuse, she seems aware of it even in some ways. Nevertheless, part of her trauma is feeling loyalty and guilt of what she thinks is her part in their "relationship."

We get to see Vanessa in her early 30's, in therapy and dealing with the Me, Too movement that has swept up her abuser after other girls have since come forward. However, Vanessa does not see Strane, her high school teacher, as an abuser and still has a love for him and their previous "relationship." I think it is very smart of Russel to portray Vanessa as unsympathetic to his other victims, even minimizing their experiences. I think what we see of current day Vanessa shows how these situations people get into as kids, even if they don't view it as the world may, affects them and their outlooks on life as adults.

Russel also includes pop culture references in 15 year old Vanessa's perspectives that I think add to the themes seamlessly. From references to Lolita, Britney Spears, and Fiona Apple they all support the idea of medias sexualization of girls as opposed to women. How we can see what that looks like in real life through Strane, and how troublesome the mindset truly is. I love the conversations Russel highlights on current day Vanessa's own struggles with feeling like her beauty and value comes from her youth. It is dark and beautiful and realized. I will say it is a story you have to be ready for. If it is not a story you would normally read, I would not recommend. This can be disturbing in parts even for me, who is not triggered by the subject matter. Overall, I think this was a beautiful debut that told a hard story with as much tact as anyone could expect while being true to the feelings and longterm trauma that a situation like this could and had caused.